"When you're aware of your smallness through sickness, when you become aware of your dependence and your neediness, you actually come to life! There is something liberating about waking up each day knowing you're not nearly as strong as you think you are." ---Pastor Tullian---
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Sickness. It really does remind humans of our smallness. It's been four years since I've been sick…. and I cannot remember how long it has been since I have felt this out of it. Currently, I am on the other side of the mountain, coming out of it… but its Saturday evening and I have been sick since Tuesday late night. I went outside for the first time since Tuesday evening this evening. After having been inside for that long…I cannot even begin to express how wonderful it felt to be outside, to breathe fresh air, I went to the gas station for Gatorade and there were humans there!!! I felt small again doing everything. Driving Emma, walking into the gas station… it was like I was doing everything for the first time again. Such a strange feeling. After the gas station, I came home and went on a walk around my apartment complex. So funny, one would think I experienced more intense of a sickness than merely a high fever, but as I walked, it was as if the world was brand new to me. Leaves moving to wind gust, the crashing of water from the fountain, birds playing and tweeting their songs… all these one simple pieces of the world that I see, but it was as I had fresh eyes and ears tonight. Even driving Emma felt like the first time all over again. It was a sweet reminder to not just look at the world, but to engage and to see. I am excited to rejoin the healthy humans of the world, and yet, may I never forget the smallness of who I am and the greatness of my God and all He has created.
