Well, the blogging everyday hasn't been a reality as of yet... but I will press on. *smile*

So, yesterday at work, I served a lovely couple. It was a definite God thing moment for both of us. I shared a little of my story about school and what God is challenging me to. She shared about having a rough time finding a job and I had a suggestion that she had not thought of yet. It was a sweet moment. Moments like that I do not want to bypass without acknowledging Holy Spirit in the everyday. Little moments such as the Chick-fil-a girl who asked me about the reminder note that I have posted in my car. Which opened a door to share very honestly about my relationship with God and the struggle to live as a God lover on this earth that seems to have the truth of God. I do not want to forget those moments. I want to live acutely aware of what God is doing in and through me and allow those moments to strengthen my heart- to shape my character and to open my eyes to a world that is larger than I can see. I don't have to travel to remember that this world, my life is beyond what I can see... I just forget so easily.

"Be careful that you do not forget the Lord, who brought you out of Egypt, out of the land of slavery."
---- deuteronomy 6.12 -------

so, wherever you are and whatever God is doing in and through you...whatever your Wednesday may bring forth, I hope and pray that you will stop and smell the roses and see the foundation that He has brought you through. To remember what our God has done.

I am thankful. For an amazing family who challenges, inspires, encourages, and believes in me.

For my amazing sister, friend, and roommate. There are not enough words to say how thankful I am for her.

I have an amazing job. A quality school. A God who loves me more than I can comprehend. And a future husband "on his way" to find me.... so thankful..... so thankful......

a Thursday full of working....

a morning conversation to remind me of the passion that was once a blazing flame... the vision that stirred my heart to dance... I will not forget... I will not walk away. I will love and trust with my whole heart. And, so, for this weekend, I will unplug. Unplug my computer except for school importantness- unplug my phone- no texting and instagramming... i choose to disconnect from that which distracts me.

i've decided to write. consistently write. here in this blog. i invite anyone who would like to come on the journey with me, but i choose to write. i choose to write and share each moment. because i choose to cultivate the gift that is within me. so, i will write. for better or for worse. *smile*

The Facebook Unfriending. Three words that would have never been strung together twenty years again. And yet, this is now a reality of our society today. It is not really that I care. It is this powerless to know the why. I respect those who post that they are lightening their Facebook friends for a reason, but when I go to message the person and find out that I'm defriended - there erupts this strange emotion. I do not want to care. This feeling is a dash of my deflated pride, a bit of confused defensiveness about the why, and a small part insecurity with a tablespoon of compassion and not wanting to hurt anyone with my humanness. I truly want to be guided by the word- "...as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone." (Romans 12.18) Oh the questions.... I want to say that I gave my 100% regardless. To love like Jesus with my whole heart. He never let the Pharisees dictate his life (and I am not saying that these "fb unfriender's" should be compared to the Pharisees) .... and on another perspective, the people that have "unfriended" me are consistent because our season of friendship has passed- so we are no longer "friends" in the world. Not that we are enemies, it is just that life has gone different ways and we have not maintained our "friendship" in whatever way that it looked and the season has past. Hmmm...

It is so interesting how life changes and alters with no warning. I really do want to be a mile deep instead of a mile wide....
     freedom starts with goodbye.... the best can start with being surrounded by closed doors....

*** "sometimes you gotta go uninvited - sometimes you gotta speak when you don't have the floor - sometimes you gotta move when everybody else says you should stay - you gotta ask if you want an answer - sometimes you gotta stand apart from the crowd" ***

Right now, the only thing concrete in my life is my cell phone bill. Everything- and I mean everything is up in the air- uncertain- unsure- and yet I feel like my life is being set up for something big for God to do- for God to take over- for God to orchestrate. The uncertainty challenges me to look beyond what I can see and into the unknown. Knowing that with each step I take, that His kingdom can be enlarged beyond me- beyond what I have known.

What if saying goodbye to the nursing field will open up a whole world of possibilities that I would have never dreamed possible. What if saying goodbye to a field that I thought I wanted, opens up a new passion and opportunities above and beyond what I could have ever dreamed possible.

Oh the possibilities and the adventures with each step.

springggg break thoughts....

springgggg break! It has been quite lovely! Surprisingly there has been lots to do... I thought I would have more down time to conquer my spring break list...well, I guess we'll see *smile*

"so don't believe it's all in vain...cause i'm on my way...i'm on my way....the light at the end is worth the pain cause i'm on my way...i'm on my way" - "on my way"- by: boyce avenue

my heart is working through some questions lately... there have been so many doors that open and I question and then the door shuts. More like slams in my face... and I'm left staring yet again at a slammed door. I refuse to allow my heart to close up. I refuse to stop opening up my heart. Yet again, hope deferred has come upon my heart and I'm left to question, to strengthen my heart in the Lord and keep pressing onwards. It is hard. I attempt to fight and it seems like it's never enough. I am never enough. Must I press on? Must I keep believing when I see no reason to believe.

Nursing. Future Husband. The feelings are the same and the continual moments are so reflective. I give my heart wholly and completely to no avail. I refuse to give up and yet the circumstances seem to chant against me to give up, to want to have faith, but with the realities of what is screaming in my face.

Jesus, You are my everything. Finances. School. Friendships. Even when everything feels like it's being destroyed. Even when everything feels very Job like with no chance of a turn around, I trust. I believe. You are my anchor. Not what I see or what I feel. Though my feelings and my sight may feel real. You are my reality. You, Jesus, are my truth. And so, I rest in and trust you to guide me. Holy Spirit, I lean into your whispers and you lead my every step. Risk it or stay- I trust in you!