what I want, but…. what I want more…. the joy.

running revelation:::::

So, I had a fun and random conversation with my friend Samantha at work…. that included me sharing the phrase- "short term sacrifice for long term benefits." On my run, Holy Spirit challenged me with this thought---- what if it is not about what we want, instead what if it is about what we want more. I began listing off things that I do want, but they were followed up with truths and realities I want more.

I want sweets of all sorts, but I want a six pack more.
I want to sleep in, but I want to go on a run more.
I want to chillax until two in the morning, but I want to go to sleep so that I can have an early morning run more.
I want to come home from work and relax watching Gilmore Girls or a movie, but I want to read my list of books more.
I want to be married and have a family, but I want a marriage and a family that defies the American dream and looks differently than what I have seen.
I want to be able to share life with a handsome fellow, but I want to trust God's orchestrations and live a God-sized love story beyond anything I can dream.
I want to have seven kids and be a wife and Mom on the mission field, but I want God's timing more.
I want to be graduated from college, but I want the learnings and growth that I am gaining from this journey more.
I want sometimes to buy an outfit, a cute pair of shoes, or clothes, but I want to remain steadfast in my financial goals and to run towards being debt free more.
I want to see what's beyond the bend in this chapter of life, but I want the adventure and the intimacy it is growing within my heart towards my God more.

So, what I want may not necessarily be wrong or bad, but is there something else I want more. It would seem then, the saying no to what I want for what I want more is not a sacrifice, but instead a joy.

…the Christmas glow and enjoying the journey….

It's Christmas! Oh I just love this time of year, I love seeing all of the guests that come into my jobs having their Christmas celebrations and gift exchanging. I enjoy Christmas shopping and intentionally finding gifts to give to the people in my life who celebrate who they are.  I love the Christmas lights, Christmas trees, decorations-- how everything has this Christmas glow…. I am not a fan of poinsettia's…. no offense, poinsettia, but I honestly do not think they are pretty flowers…. but everything else is gorgeous. It is a beautiful time of year. Especially with a new year approaching. *smile*

running revelation….
I went on a long run yesterday. Leaving on this run, I was not sure if I would even go a mile. Last Wednesday, I went iceskating with some of my most favorite people-----

However, I fell on the ice twice. I was the only one in our group that fell… the second time was a hard fall--- I went to bed and my leg was sore. Waking up the next morning, my muscles were so tight I could not bend my leg and walking was challenging. So, my run on Monday was my first run back post all of this craziness. I ended up running a little under 7 1/2 miles. It felt INCREDIBLE. I also learned a lesson through it. As I was running, my focus was not the extent of mileage I was intending to run. My focus was not on anything but the next step. Sometimes, in life, I feel like I jump ahead or I want to jump ahead because I want to know what a particular season is like. And yet, the journey prepares you in each step. As in my run, each step strengthened my leg for the next… one season strengthens and empowers the next. Like this incredible quote----- """When you dance, your purpose is not to get to a certain place on the floor. It's to enjoy each step along the way.""" ***