Trailblazing ***

 I had a plan that I've been working on steps towards and the night before Thanksgiving, everything changed. When everything leading up to said plan has walls surrounding, you have to ask some real questions, honest questions. So, about a minute or two ago, I sent the email declining the job... declining a seemingly dream job... but I have more peace in the unknown, than I did with that known. So, I have no idea what the next chapter of this story will be.... 

in worship a few days ago, Holy Spirit brought my heart to Psalm 119:105- "Your Word is a light to my feet and a light to my path." He is my compass, my North star, my beacon and He can be trusted. I lay it all down for Him... I surrender because I want His lead, His path, His trail. 

So, even though I can't see the road ahead, I will set my face on His... and see Him do what only He can. I just want my life to make sense in the light of eternity. Even if I feel like a salmon swimming upstream.

Conversation pumping gas....

My gas was exceedingly low as I drove home last night and I was oh so tired. I knew I could make it home with the gas currently in my tank. So, this morning, I left earlier than usual and went to get gas. As an adult I have, like many others, pumped my gas to a similar routine many, many times... but this mornings gas pumping into Oliver Jude (the name for my Subaru Forester) - was out of the ordinary... then again we are in a season of out of the ordinary as the natural rhythm.

I put the nozzle into my gas tank and I heard (the inner voice I know so obviously) clearly, powerfully, as strong as a few pivotal moments in my adventure with God, for me to only pump $10 from this pump into my tank. As the gallons added and the cost clicked upward... I had a few moments to make my decision to shake it off and disregard or to obey... click - click - click... I stopped and got to exactly $10 and ended my gas transaction. It was an odd moment... one I wanted to know the why. As this moment has, all throughout my day been coming up within me, it led me to think about if I box up my relationship with God into digestible, what I can explain, comprehend... or am I living on mission to just live ON MISSION. Even if it is beyond how I should respond, am I rejecting that and choosing grace... am I waiting when some say to jump... am I using my voice when fear is silencing others... currently our world is in the middle of a pandemic due to Covid-19... a virus that is affecting thousands upon thousands. Do I think God made this happen? No. Do I think he is using it and going to keep using it... heck yes. Alongside all of that, do I think there is a lot about this that doesn't make sense to our minds, also yes. Do I think that God is sovereign and above it all.. abso-freaking-lutely! I think because He is bigger than all of it, we can trust Him. He is irresistible to me... beyond what I may want...I want Him more. I trust Him more. So, even in the unknown, I will follow, I will blaze the trail, I will love when its so hard... and I will trust His lead... even at the gas pump. *smile*

2020 ** Unstoppable ^^ Soar

One year and one day ago was the last post on this blog of mine.

I love to write. Intertwined in the fluidity of the keys under my fingers as I put to words and text the things that are swirling within me, the dreams being formed like clay, the moments experienced being captured, and the reflections of a God who is oh so fully Emmanuel "God with us" its my form of art. Some are musicians, some artists... I write... and I like it, so, so much. Even with the evidence of a year, I write in other forms. Tonight, as I was getting ready for bed, I have been reflecting on this January. On a morning commute to work, one of the radio DJ's made a comment about the "87 days of January" which in fact made me laugh and yet this January of 2020 has been one I will not soon forget. Last night, my church and 450+ churches join for a kick off to celebrate the beginning of a 30 day prayer and fasting for our city and each person. Already, so so much has happened... and I'm sure there will be weathers to storm and yet, I am deeply loving the moments where God shows up in an unforeseen way.... and already he has done that three times in two days! This month feels different already. An awakening within me to new levels and depths is already in motion.

For this year... I feel like this year - 2020 is two words:

.....UNSTOPPABLE
                            and
                                SOAR.....

.... so much Holy Spirit is teaching me right now... one being with my job and what it looks like to stand under the kind of administration that I have currently - and he told me what that looks like, which I had to exercise today--- through not my lead, it was dramatically so... and then tonight, I watched this video and it was the concepts Holy Spirit was teaching me.

Here's to a spectacular year of writing, hiking adventures with Jesus, laughter and growth lived in community, and adventurously, expectant God things!