what I want, but…. what I want more…. the joy.

running revelation:::::

So, I had a fun and random conversation with my friend Samantha at work…. that included me sharing the phrase- "short term sacrifice for long term benefits." On my run, Holy Spirit challenged me with this thought---- what if it is not about what we want, instead what if it is about what we want more. I began listing off things that I do want, but they were followed up with truths and realities I want more.

I want sweets of all sorts, but I want a six pack more.
I want to sleep in, but I want to go on a run more.
I want to chillax until two in the morning, but I want to go to sleep so that I can have an early morning run more.
I want to come home from work and relax watching Gilmore Girls or a movie, but I want to read my list of books more.
I want to be married and have a family, but I want a marriage and a family that defies the American dream and looks differently than what I have seen.
I want to be able to share life with a handsome fellow, but I want to trust God's orchestrations and live a God-sized love story beyond anything I can dream.
I want to have seven kids and be a wife and Mom on the mission field, but I want God's timing more.
I want to be graduated from college, but I want the learnings and growth that I am gaining from this journey more.
I want sometimes to buy an outfit, a cute pair of shoes, or clothes, but I want to remain steadfast in my financial goals and to run towards being debt free more.
I want to see what's beyond the bend in this chapter of life, but I want the adventure and the intimacy it is growing within my heart towards my God more.

So, what I want may not necessarily be wrong or bad, but is there something else I want more. It would seem then, the saying no to what I want for what I want more is not a sacrifice, but instead a joy.

…the Christmas glow and enjoying the journey….

It's Christmas! Oh I just love this time of year, I love seeing all of the guests that come into my jobs having their Christmas celebrations and gift exchanging. I enjoy Christmas shopping and intentionally finding gifts to give to the people in my life who celebrate who they are.  I love the Christmas lights, Christmas trees, decorations-- how everything has this Christmas glow…. I am not a fan of poinsettia's…. no offense, poinsettia, but I honestly do not think they are pretty flowers…. but everything else is gorgeous. It is a beautiful time of year. Especially with a new year approaching. *smile*

running revelation….
I went on a long run yesterday. Leaving on this run, I was not sure if I would even go a mile. Last Wednesday, I went iceskating with some of my most favorite people-----

However, I fell on the ice twice. I was the only one in our group that fell… the second time was a hard fall--- I went to bed and my leg was sore. Waking up the next morning, my muscles were so tight I could not bend my leg and walking was challenging. So, my run on Monday was my first run back post all of this craziness. I ended up running a little under 7 1/2 miles. It felt INCREDIBLE. I also learned a lesson through it. As I was running, my focus was not the extent of mileage I was intending to run. My focus was not on anything but the next step. Sometimes, in life, I feel like I jump ahead or I want to jump ahead because I want to know what a particular season is like. And yet, the journey prepares you in each step. As in my run, each step strengthened my leg for the next… one season strengthens and empowers the next. Like this incredible quote----- """When you dance, your purpose is not to get to a certain place on the floor. It's to enjoy each step along the way.""" ***

Learnings in the valley….

Oh the lessons I have been learning lately….

Reprogramming…. it is hard. Once you have a program that has been established by your choice, experience, or a repetitive program. It is hard to reprogram. It is not impossible. This is not to say it cannot happen…. it just is hard.

I am desperately fighting to reprogram. Ten people reprogrammed me to think and feel a certain way…. in a pattern I would never have chosen. Ten. Ten people to establish a mindset. Could it take one to break that? Could one person be the one to look at those ten and stand up for truth. No that one is not a sexy man of God, nor is that one my most bosom friend on the planet, or the most inspirational person on the planet. I dare to believe that I can be that one. I can be the one to shift the reprogramming. To look those ten experiences in the face and to believe this is different. To believe that I can change the world, turn the tide…. I have been mad at myself. There are some deep wounds that I have been walking through---- well, I was running from them. Well, I tried to walk through them but that resulted in a super hecka incredible counseling session…. then I met with a lady my sister knows and she was a breath of fresh air to my wounds. Her personality was like mine and she experiences God in a real, free way. She navigated me through the how of how to start this deep wounded healing conversation with God--- and I walked through it…. now I know this fight to reprogram is the enemy being a jerk face…. but I'm not running anymore. I'm facing it. I'm choosing to stand in the tension---- when everything in me wants to run.

I admit that I am weak. I admit that I want to not feel what I feel. I admit that I need him…. but I also admit that I can be the world changer--- I can shift the tide--- and with His strength in me, I can reprogram. True. Story.

So….. I had this interview this week. This interview was for my internship that I start in January. I was quite excited about it. Internship signals the nearness of graduation, which excites me beyond words. However, the internship I was assigned to was drastically different than I originally wanted. I am choosing to fight to enjoy and embrace this challenge. So….. I walk into an office desperately needing a paint job and decorations with florescent lights sucking my soul… *smile*… I DO NOT LIKE florescent lighting---- I love atmospheric lighting!!! Anyways…I digress…. so, the office is completely opposite than anything I imagined…. and the lady begins to crush my dreams--- It was like being told you think you are going to change the world and someone looking you in the eyes and saying--- well, good luck with that.  She obviously did not say that, but that is what I felt throughout the hour and a half-ish I was there.

But you know what, I still believe, that Jesus and me can change the world for Kingdom. I still believe that I can shift eternity with God's plans being lived out. I believe that I am an overcomer. I believe in a love that makes you giddy to your soul and risks. I believe in quality, deep friendships that refresh your soul. I believe in a God who loves me so deeply and intimately that He uses the whole world to make me smile and take my breathe away. I believe that the blind will see. I believe healing is not a concept, but a reality. I believe nations can be changed if I allow God to flow through me as a conduit. I believe that I will be an incredible wife and mother one day--- in His timing.. I believe and I shall not let anyone try to convince me deeper. I see reality. Life is hard. This is the beginning of the end--- I believe we are in the birth pangs of the end. I also am a dreamer who chooses to believe the best and to see the possibility of what a majestic, wonderful, awesome, powerful God can do within me.

I am radical. I am not afraid to go against the grain. Even when it is most difficult. *smile*

Sometime I should blog about alllll I learned from dressing up as Katniss Everdeen from Hunger Games!!! Oh goodness the amazingness…..

I've decided my thirties really are going to be amazing…. year thirty is incredible so far!!!!!

…you carry me…..

This song has been wrecking me… in such a good and beautiful way the past three---ishhhh weeks….
("You Carry Me" by: Moriah Peters)

Feels like it's been miles and miles

Feels like it's an uphill climb

Sometimes I get weary on the way

But when I look back at where I've been

When I look back, I'm sure of it

I was right there in Your arms and I can say

Every moment of my life

God, You never left my side

Every valley, every storm

You were there, You were there

I don't need to know what's next

You'll be with me every step

Through it all, through it all

I can see You carry me

There are days I wonder if

You can fix the mess I'm in

Times when nothing seems

To go the way it should

But then I look back on every season

I can find there's ten thousand reasons

To trust that You can work all things for good

Through the wind and waves

Through my worst mistakes

Through the times I thought I walked alone

You were holding me

You were whispering

I will never leave you on your own

On my run this evening, it continued to do that. This morning I began my day early with an advising appointment about my classes starting in January (and internship)… coupled with work, GIRLS Ranch, intentionality with my friends, I wonder how it will all look like and yet, I do not need to know that yet. It is funny how when God teaches me lessons, they seem to be interwoven like an elaborate quilt, throughout every element of my life. It echoes wherever I go… that lesson right now is a challenge to be fully present. Whether it is at my job with the people there, school and doing everything I need to do, the amazing incredibly precious QUALITY friendships that I have in my life, my relationship with God, GIRLS Ranch, Kairos…. there is this battle to think, analyze, or focus on something else. I have caught myself doing this one too many times, and I am not okay with it… so, God has been challenging me to be fully present--- to put my phone away--- to be in the moment that I am in--- and to embrace each moment. It is okay to not to know the story, but to enjoy the journey…. He's led me through some incredible twists and turns, valleys and mountains…. 

"I don't need to know what's next* you'll be with me every step* through it all* through it all*I can see you carry me"

a crisp, lovely, refreshing Sunday run…..

Running revelation---- it came in the stretching after part of my run…. I was texting with my Dad and we were talking about the movie- Ragamuffin--- it is a movie based on the life of Rich Mullins. He was radical. He saw God is this raw, beautiful, fury love kind of way…. Dad had the thought about how Rich Mullins and Keith Green were both killed early in life… and how interesting that was… it got me thinking about how we can support, encourage, stir that reality in ourselves--- but also those with that…. and I was typing- "…that radical ness." Auto correct changed the ness is mess. Which continued my line of thinking to the reality of the truth that radical is messy. It is not safe--- it is not comfortable--- you can't put it in a box…. and sometimes it's a hot mess.

I am not there yet. I crave radical. From the inside-out. I crave what radical could look like in reality more than just words.

Love. Simplicity. Generosity. Patience. Kindness. Truth. Peace. Self-Control.

Radical is messy.

#i'vecountedupthecostandHeisworthit

"…never take lightly what it cost Him (Jesus) and never assume that if it cost Him His very life that it won't cost you yours." -rich mullins

a beautiful fall break run…..

deep running thoughts from my fall break long run today…..

**** How many people are walking around as open wounds? About twoish weeks ago, God unearthed some pretty deep roots within me that I did not know I still need healing from. In order to be healed from it, I have sought outside help processing through it…. however, because of circumstances, that still has not come to be. So… since then I have been walking around feeling like an open wound. Things that normally would not hurt so deeply within me have pierced my soul…. words spoken without thought have touched deep within me… I feel a greater sensitivity to every emotion, word, action…. and on my run, I was thinking… how many are walking around like open wounds everyday? They may not even be aware of their open woundedness. However, when something hits that wound, they lash out. It is not about what you said or did-- it may be--- but what if they are responding out of their hurt--- their exposed wound? Challenging perspective, eh?

the difference between a goal and a dream…. a dream is abstract.. a goal is specific with specific intentions that need action steps put towards them. deep.

---- fall break. ---- *smile*…. jumping into a day of productivity, intentionality, and rest.

from the Preds game---- a sweet God surprise in a million different little ways. I love love the way He loves me. #breathtaking

Running Revelation……..

I have this incredible friend--- Bre--- she is definitely a surprising friendship within my circle, but I am unbelievably beyond words grateful for her……

So, we were talking and I was sharing one of my many running revelations and she challenged me to blog and share about them…. so… since I LOVE LOVE challenges--- I am all into this one….

So….. yesterday (Thursday) morning's run revelation….

***Their season is not your season. Be fully engaged where I have you--- say no to that which would deter and take you away from giving your 100%***

My amazing sister, Ericka and incredible roommate friend, Mindy are both working and that is their main priority, so, most weeks, they have a few evenings/days off that they can watch a show, go hiking, go to a movie…

... and in this season of my life, I do not have that privilege--- balancing school, work, GIRLS Ranch, Kairos, friendships, family… it doesn't allow for many days off--- but that is my season--- that is where I am… and I do have time off--- it just isn't extended and I have to fight to fully engage and enjoy because I have this little college voice in my head reminding me that I maybe should be studying or homeworking…. but I was challenged by Holy Spirit to fully engage in my season--- to not be jealous of their season of life--- and I do really like my season of life--- I feel content in the crazy…. and God surprises me constantly with quality time with the people in my life---which are true moments that fully refresh me!!!! Which I love… and then I have my running…. So I choose to engage fully--- 100% and to give my whole heart to this season. 

a moment that sparks a thought……..

Today, I went into a Christian bookstore. I was given a super belated birthday gift, but I already had the CD, so I went in with the mindset to exchange it for an awesome book- which I did find…. I bought three!!! *giggle*…. However, let me try to express the feelings, emotions, and thoughts that raced through my head and heart from the moment I opened the door and walked in and continued throughout my shopping experience. When I say raced, it is not a great word or a word that stimulates a visual picture, I mean RACED…. I used to enjoy going to Christian bookstores--- for whatever reason, this I do not know. I enjoyed walking around them mostly with my dear best friend, Cazi LaRee as the experience would stimulate conversation about a book, particular topic or musical artist. This. This experience was drastically different. Even upon opening the door and walking in, my stomach churned, and if I am being honest, what raced through my head were the words---- THIS IS CHEESY. Over and over and over and over.

I feel I have tasted cheesy, Christianese Christianity and it's like McDonald's salads. I had this lunch with my Dad when I was about twelve or thirteen years old and we went to McDonald's. I decided to be healthy because I was full on in my soccer career and chose a salad for lunch. It tasted good--- nothing incredibly delicious but it was good. We were on a trip somewhere for something and all I remember is on the drive back to our hotel room that we were staying at on this trip, my stomach was churning… it was upset. As soon as I got back to the hotel after a short drive back, I headed straight to the bathroom and proceeded to throw up every ounce of that McDonald's salad and I tasted it all in reverse. As a result of that experience, if I am ever in a McDonald's, that is my first thought if I even consider have a salad and I am deterred from it.

That. That is how I feel about Christian bookstores. I remember that I actually used to enjoy it. But now, it makes me stomach quite upset to even think or consider it. I wonder my throwing up moment. Was it when I went through that wrecked church split in 2007 where my friends and I were forced to fight for our friendships? Was it as I heard wonderings about secret meetings that were held by the pastoral staff that rubbed me wrong? Was it when I was treated poorly time and time again by pastors that I served under? Was it in Kansas City when I was in a deep, dark depression and I needed help and the non-Christian's were sweet and caring when the Christians told me to suck it up and move on?

This I know… I don't know when my throwing up moment came--- but somewhere along the way, it came. Whether it was in a moment or in a  combination of moments, the feeling remains every time I see or enter a Christian bookstore.

I crave authenticity. Being genuine. Being real. Maybe that is a piece of it…. it feels like a place where people come and they put on their happy faces and hide what they are actually feeling. What if I don't know why. Why do I feel like I need to know why. What if I just choose to acknowledge that I feel like this and yet I choose to fix my eyes on my Jesus as He leads me…. and that in His timing, He will reveal the root or roots and uproot it out of my life…. He is the best gardener of my heart. So… I don't know why it is…. but I think it is good to question--- to wonder--- to sit in the not knowing, but to trust Him who does know.

*****This is a picture of some of my dearest friends. We went to the Grand Ole Opry and had a lovely evening. I am feeling a little more Nashvillian these days…. and I love it…. I still have so much more exploring to do…. I love my city.****

A reflection on my twenties…. ****

In FOUR days, my twenties will end and with the entrance of my birthday, I will enter into my thirties. Wow. I have been wanting to be thirty since I was fifteen, so, I can barely believe that it is almost here. On that Thursday, my thirtieth birthday will be celebrated with an 80's themed roller skating party and Old Chicago Pizza deliciousness. So, with my twenties ending and my thirties starting, it got me thinking about my twenties…. so, I dedicate this post to my years 20-29!!!

I did the crazy twenty something stuff------ maybe my crazy was different than a lot of other twenty somethings, but I lovedddddd being crazy with friends….

Job-wise I was a server for the majority of my twenties which afforded me the time to be able to spend with my friends.

I had the joy of spending my twenties with the most amazing and quality group of friends. I met this extraordinary collaboration of guys and girls through the church I attended. We all served as youth leaders and friendships grew as a result. We went to church together, served together, watched movies together, and the besttttt was that this amazing group of friends could have fun in parking lots. What was more fun was that we could all have a blast, be crazy and we didn't need alcohol or any other substances to create fun. We were just fun.

****Cazi, Danny, Brandon, Mindy, Chris, Drew, Jacob, Ericka, Lindsay, Jamie, Sean, Rob, Greta, Doug, Kevin, Stephanie, Seth, Tommy, Shannan, Alaina, Johanna, Meagan, and me. ****

Together, we celebrated birthdays, adventured, took vacations, forked our pastor's yard, went to numerous conferences, create random projects for the church, cried and supported each other through life's chaos. I may not be near them, but these people are closest to my heart.

What was more interesting was that the majority of us did not see college as our current journey of life, so we were able to hang out into the wee hours of the evening---- and thus was created A-B-C-D (Amy-Brandon-Cazi-Danny)…. the ones who did not need sleep and thus we deducted that sleep was overrated…. which paved the way for some pretty fun late night escapades.

These friends made the best twenties a girl could ever hope for.

In my twenties, I had my first love (at twenty-three). I fell in love with my best friend. He made me feel special and cherished. It was not meant to be forever, but I am deeply thankful for our season of being loved by him and to love him. I greatly respect him and cherish the memories that we shared together.

In my twenties, I also got the deep joy to go to Africa. I fell head over heels with the people and discovered my heart for missions and passion to see the world know my Jesus.

Thanks to Jamie Lauren and my Dad, I discovered my love for running!!!!

                   ***I ran my first half marathon with my Dad in Columbus in 2 hours and 45 minutes***

                              *** I ran my first full marathon in Nashville in 5 hours and 33 minutes***

In my twenties, I became an auntie to my amazing nephew-- Asher Nathaniel David!!!

In my twenties, I lived in Ohio, Texas, Kentucky, Missouri, Africa, and Tennessee.

In my twenties, I went on a missions trip to Haiti where I met an amazing group of God lovers and we loved on the beautiful and incredible Haitian people!!!

This was my rockstar princess moment--- Chad, Brian, and I went to the Dove Awards 2013 here in Nashville….

In my twenties, I also met the amazing group of people--- most of us are not from Nashville, but our stories have led us here and we met at Kairos and have created memories…

I am so grateful for the moments that happened throughout my twenties--- it may not have played out the way that I expected the story to be written within my twenties, but I am so thankful for a fantastic twenties and I am excited to see what my thirties will look like. Farewell, twenties, thank you for the memories, moments, adventures, quality friendships…. the best is yet to come….

Oceans…..

So, the song "Oceans" by Hillsong United is one of the most popular worship songs currently. There is a line in this song that has been wreckkkkking me--- in such a beautiful and powerful way. It is within the bridge (which is my favorite part of songs)…. and it speaks these powerful words….

"Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders"

…where my trust is without borders. Where my trust does not contain any if, when, or but's. Where my trust is pure, organic, and genuine trust. It is one thing to say, I trust God. It is a whole different story to walk it out. It is a different story to live it out. In one month, ONE MONTH from today, I will be going to Grenada on a missions trip. This is the BEST birthday present from Jesus. I am excited beyond all words. Between the here and now, there is A LOT of trust….. preparing physically and spiritually. I want to be full on ready--- And I want to give my 100% now and onwards towards this adventure. I have to trust that as I step out, that He will meet me. His timing is not mine, but I've realized that another line in the song Oceans is this truth ----

"so I will call upon your name
and keep my eyes above the waves
when oceans rise
my soul will rest in your embrace"

So many times in life I want to look at the waves and focus on the circumstances and the what I can see parts of life and I lose perspective. Instead of looking at the waves, I need to set my gaze on my God and who He is--- what He can do through me--- that I am the middle man and He is the authority---He is the strength--He is the provider--- I just let go and trust Him. That lyric grabs me- "when oceans rise- my soul will rest in your embrace." I do not need to know, I do not have to have it all figured out, I just need to stay tuned into Him, give my 100% and let Him move…. this where foundational blocks are formed.

"discomfort produces results." -dr. brene brown

So, today, I choose to surf the waves--- to set my eyes on Him--- to trust that He can create a story beyond my wildest dreams--- that He loves me and I will not be crushed by fear--- I will not be discouraged--- but as I set my gaze on Him and allow "my soul to rest in Your embrace" He will move---for Kingdom.

GRENADA!!!!!

Something super crazy exciting is happening this summer as God has opened a door of adventure. As you know, I have an exploding heart towards international missions. I am very proud to be an American, and yet, my heart greatly desires to pour out to the nations as well. On July 6^th through the 20^th, I will be heading to Grenada. While there I will be partnering with the organization: Grenada 24/7 (www.grenada247.org). This organization has dreams and vision for the country of Grenada to fully experience the true presence  and freedom of God.

So, you may be wondering, where is Grenada and why are going there? The where---Grenada is a small island nation that is only twenty miles wide and twelve miles long off of the coast of South America. Only about 100,000 people of mostly African descent call this country home and the official language is English.  On most maps, it is a minuscule point within the Caribbean and despite the exceeding amount of spices that grow on this beautiful island most of the Grenadian’s fight poverty and unemployment. In addition, only about 10% consider themselves Christ followers. Why am I choosing to spend some of my summer there? 

Well..... when I was living in Kentucky, I connected with an extraordinary woman by the name of Erica Zauflick. Our friendship became one that I just knew was going to ripple way beyond Kentucky. Today, Erica, her husband Justin, and their three beautiful children: Anton, Nikolai, and Cassie are on staff with Grenada 24/7 and have laid down their lives to serve the people as missionaries. 

My vision for this trip is Jesus. Cheesy? Maybe.... and yet Jesus’ and my dream and vision that we have created is not for this missions trip to be a “sexy missions trip.” I am going to serve the Zauflick family and Grenada 24/7.  I am traveling from Nashville, Tennessee to Grenada to love on the Grenadian’s as well as those serving on the ground every day. Erica shares about the early morning walks with the women in the village that she takes in the morning, caring for her children as a missionary wife and mother, and what the everyday life looks like for her. I am not going for the touristy experience of Grenada. I am going to serve, love, and be the hands and feet of Jesus and I am expecting the presence of God to take over each day. The everyday may translate into assisting the staff serving the teams that come during my time there, cooking meals, doing a VBS,  or cleaning. This adventure is a blank canvas and I am excited for what God will translate these fourteen days into.

AND I am exciteddddd!!!!!!!

exposing tactics.

About a week ago, my amazing roommate Mindy told me this story about a girl who had a pet snake. To preface this, I hate hate snakes. I'd rather be around a thousand spiders than the tiniest snake. However, this summer, I am determined to face and conquer that fear. Anyways….so, Mindy starts telling me this story about how this snake even sleeps in the same bed as the girl and instead of corralling in a spiral-like fashion, it sleeps longwise. (even as I type this, I am disgusted by the visual that I am fighting coming in my mind) She thought it was sweet, but then a friend cautioned her that to the snake this is his way of "sizing her up"…basically, her pet snake wants to eat her, but is strategically preparing to make sure his attack is successful. Anyways….. I was on a run today and I started dreaming about the day this summer when I conquer this fear of snakes and then it reminded me of this horrid story… but then Holy Spirit started revealing that like that snake, that is how the enemy works in our lives. The devil studies us and what makes us frustrated, our insecurities, triggers, and wounds because he wants to be successful in his attacks against us. This stirred up some deep thoughts about how the enemy uses seemingly "random comments from a friend", a nothing ignoring from a person in our life, even a facial reaction to trigger these emotional reactions. This is strategic because then and only then are we not focused on the devil and his working like the "man behind the curtain." In that moment, all we are frustrated with is the person. It may seem like nothing, but walls started to rise up and it is the enemy's attack of "here we go again." It confirms our fears, lies that we have believed about ourselves, and we get frustrated at the person in front of us instead of the puppeteer behind the scenes. Deep, eh?

He does this, and we seemingly let him because he has sized us up like that disgusting snake. He uses strategies and offenses that will get to us personally. My sister may not be hurt and stirred by a moment like I will because it triggers something deeper. And vise versa… I may be able to shake off a moment, that is a deep trigger for her. I began to see with new eyes things that have even happened this past week and exposing the enemies' attacks behind the scenes.

I am sharing this to expose the enemies tactics. So, in those moments of frustration, fear, irritation, and when you feel triggered, I challenge and encourage you to look behind the scenes and that the enemy may be using the person in front of you to attack you in a deeper way.

"I've counted up the cost and you are worth it" - rend collective experiment

A longgggggg day. But an amazing one. School all day long was long---but good--- I LOVE LOVE my classes and am learning so much AND I love what we are learning about- minus the math class--- but it's okay--- I choose to still enjoy it-- and a guy came up and introduced himself to me in that class- Steven- he was sweet- I asked him a random question. I also had a random but fun conversation with my HBSE professor- Dr. Seime- quality and random conversation! I get out to my car at around 4ish in the afternoon after arriving at campus at 8AM. I turn the key in my car to start Emma Grace and nothing. Come to find out that I left my lights on and so, my battery died. I asked a girl from my Research Methods class if she could jump my car, and she agrees and drives her car into the grass. I grab the jumper cables from my trunk and go into mechanic mode and place the cables just right praying that I did it correctly and nothing would explode. A guy walking out to his car right next to mine ends up asking if we needed help-- he ensures that I did set it up correctly- at which I do an inward happy dance- the jump is successful and I am on my way….after a stop to get tissues and then onwards to GIRLS Ranch. While there- I realized that out of the 4 group leaders, I am the only single one. In that moment, there was this realization and remembrance of how strategic my singleness is in this season. I do desire him---whoever he is---- I do not have evidence and yet, somehow, I believe that he is alive and on planet earth right now. Buttttttttt right now, singleness is my season and I will not despise it or ignore- I will face it-- I shall enjoy it and embrace each moment.

loveeeee embracing the seasons---even this frrrrriiiggggidd Tennessee winter *giggle* One day, the spring will come yet again… *smile*….how fitting!!!

embracing each season…..being fully present! *smile*

"a single girl in a couple's world"

That has been my story for 29 and a half years minus nine months. Why does this world make us single girls and guys to feel less than because we aren't in a relationship. Everything seemingly is for couples. You can get "couple discounts" - Two for One- Two Dinners…. But you know what? I think this is a matter of perspective. I do have the desire to be married and have a family. But that is not my season right now. I want to be content in this season, so, I am changing my point of view and embracing THIS season. Right now, I am awaiting my future husband's arrival--- or his announcement of his arrival onto the scene of my life. But my life is more than that. I have a deep passion for missions. I have a heart for teenage girls. I am pursing my social work degree in college. I have an extraordinarily amazing group of friends where it does not matter what we do, when we are together, we have fun. I am currently training for the Nashville FULL 26.2 marathon in April. I am digging into the Word and pursuing memorizing the Word more and more. I work with some of the coolest people at my workplace and am thoroughly enjoying their friendships!!!

There is more to life than relationship status. I will thoroughly enjoy when my season changes when he, whoever he may be enters my life. Right now, though, I am enjoying my season- I choose to be present and enjoy the pieces of the puzzle of my life and I will stand with confidence as a single girl in a couple's world…. leaning into my Beloved as He writes my story.

So, changing the story, I shall. Embracing this story, I shall. Loving my Jesus more and more as I embrace the adventure in front of me. For sure!!!!

morning Holy Spirit revelation!!

This morning I encountered a powerful revelation in the Word. I read in Genesis 2 about how God commanded Adam to not eat of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil- verse 16.  He commanded this however, BEFORE Eve was ever created. She was then formed out of Adam's ribs as Adam was in a deep sleep- in verse 21-22. How interesting!!! I have been a lover of Jesus since I was a little girl and have read the Bible and this passage NUMEROUS times and not until this morning did I grasp this timing.

So, challenges…. first… I want a man- my future husband- to be a man of the Word. A man that will properly teach me and our family the Word. Did Adam teach Eve properly the Word? In Genesis 3:2- she speaks to the serpent and tells him not exactly what God spoke to Adam. I want a man who is a man of the Word. Who, together, we can read and teach each other the Word. I'm sure that we will have different perspectives of the Word as well- opposites attract *smile*…. such a challenge. Not just a  "I go to church, I love Jesus" man. I want a man who the Word is in his veins and even when he fails that he still has a heart to pursue the Word of God. I want to marry a human- so I'm not saying that he has to be a man who has the entirety of the Bible memorized, but a man who pursues the Word of God- what a powerful foundation our marriage could be built on!

Second, I want to be a woman of the Word. I do not want to just talk about the Bible or have a "the Word says this somewhere---it sounds like something like…" I want to be a woman who speaks the Word as a weapon. To encourage my future husband with and the people in my life. I want to be a woman who can use the Word of God in spiritual warfare when the enemy is coming after me, my family, and the people in my life. I want to be a woman of the Word who will attract a man who is passionate after the Word. And TOGETHER, we can be a couple of the Word running after the KINGDOM with His Word in our veins and as our fuel.

BAM! Thank You, Holy Spirit for your Word and seeing through new eyes. I love love revelation from Holy Spirit.. so good.

a fresh start---it's a brand new day! #shereadstruth

(this is my friend, Chad's dog- Cody--- coolest dog on the planet!!!)

(my best friend Meagan and me at our friend's Blayne and Shannan Janney's wedding)

Happy 2014!!!!!!