Gamechanger.

"Don't apologize for caring for your patients. A lot of doctors are afraid to go all in because it hurts too much." ------ Grey's Anatomy-------
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As I ironed tonight, I watched last week's Grey's Anatomy. Bailey, one of the main doctors said this to Jo, one of my favorite characters who is in her last year as an intern. Jo had a breakdown as the doctors fought to save a baby after a mother had died. It was a very emotional moment and Jo could not hold her emotions inside and the doctors allowed her to leave after the baby was saved. Later on, in the break room/lockers area Bailey came to Jo to talk to her. Jo immediately starts to apologize. Bailey stops her with this statement. It struck me deeply.

I feel. A lot. Sometimes too much. Jesus has been so so sweet to me and I discovered this AMAZING and incredible podcast by two of my favorite authors last summer about soul ties….http://ransomedheart.com/podcast?page=2 … that has restored health. I am wholehearted. I am all in. I would not and I fight to be intentional about NOT closing up my heart out of fear, pain, or allowing bitterness to seep into my heart. It does hurt too much… but you know, its worth it. I wouldn't trade it for anything.

Just for fun…. I've played soccer since I was seven years old. The sport has had this way since I was little girl of bringing out this different side of me. I always dreamed of playing in college, and when I made decisions after graduating from high school for a different journey. As I was saying "yes" to some choices that some of these "yes" decisions resulted in a "no" to other dreams and choices. A little over than a month ago, I emailed a girl about playing soccer at MTSU.  I was invited to tryout for the MTSU club soccer team. Two Wednesday evenings ago, I tried out and this past Monday, I was informed that I had made the team! So, not only did I get the chance to try out for the soccer team, but I made the team.

A surprising, amazing moment. Love.

A couple weeks ago at Kairos, I was in the prayer time and I was talking to Jesus and realized one of my happy places…

Jesus and me. In a pick-up truck. Jesus driving. Me sitting cross legged in the passenger seat. Sun shining.