End of the semester assignments…...

So….. I have a ten page paper due soon…within the next couple of weeks. I had a topic and a passion for my topic. I was going to destroy a huge chunk of said paper today. Then, I reread the handout given to us about this paper and it had a pivotal line that somehow allllllll semester I missed- that this paper has to do something with our field experience. I lightly encountered my topic at my field internship. However, it is not primarily based on my field experience. So…. a paper I thought all I would have to do is take all of my research, mental outline, and just write…. may have to be completely redone. Crazy. So, I emailed my professor and I do not know how to continue. I feel like I am in a holding pattern.

Oh holding patterns of my life… it is my current life theme in everythinggggggg. To be honest, I am not stressed. I do not have any other ideas for paper topics in which I could cannonball into. So, I wait. If I have to shift my entire paper, I have to shift my entire paper. I do not know that now, so I wait. I feel like in these seeming waiting story lines of my life I am learning more than I could have ever comprehended if the pattern would have just continued onwards. I surrendered my heart for missions=holding pattern, pending complete termination….. I graduate in December= holding pattern in school as the semester concludes for the spring semester….. And yet, I feel strength being built. PNEUMAGO*** "Spirit led" …. I don't have to know every detail. I give my 100%, I ask, I lean into my Beloved, and I trust His timing and process.

I was talking to my best friend who lives in Michigan and I was sharing with her about these trees I saw on my run….

This first tree (top) has a strong root structure, the bottom part of the trunk is anchored still, and yet it will become firewood because the main part of the trunk isn't anchored…. however, the second tree (bottom) root structure and despite being pulled out a bit by the storm, its main trunk and root structure are still in place. I shared this with Meagan and how I felt Holy Spirit challenging me to not only build a deep root structure, but to allow this season of hiddenness and training to build strength in me (as the tree *smile*) in my whole structure. Meagan then shared with me that when a tree is a sapling, it moves with every movement of the wind and it is tossed to and fro…. however, with the winds and the storms, the biological chemistry of the trunk of the tree is strengthened which fortifies trees and makes them able to withstand the storms. As she was sharing with me, she had a revolutionary ah-ha moment---- the more we allow ourselves to stand in the storm, and not to run from the storm, the more strength will be built. WOW. I love the way God teaches and builds.
                                                                                             I love His training!!!