Forgiveness ranting…..

Sometimes forgiveness sucks. A lot. It is so good for my heart. I know this. But the process- the journey can be super rocky, messy…. I choose to forgive despite the messy…. I want to believe the best in people. When I meet someone, I give them a jar full of marbles of trust… because I want to trust  and believe in people. What they choose to do with that jar reveals itself in the relationship. I have a friend. A friend I am choosing to be friends with despite the messy. A friend who has hurt me deeply. This friends birthday just past. I bought a birthday gift. Because I love putting thought into birthday gifts and calling out something in them through that gift. I got a gift. Why? Not because I wanted to. It was because I didn't want to… I don't want bitterness or hurt to pollute my heart. So, I got a gift because I choose to protect my heart from the enemy. So, I choose to forgive… even when I don't feel it or don't know it… Just a thought.