loyalty ** legs of races ** and a new job...

I'm loyal. Its my strength. Maybe it was engrained within my Amy ness from birth, or maybe it was sharpened throughout the year of losing Cleveland Browns football, or even a choice within me in response to seeing a lack of loyalty. Wherever and however, it came within me. My first restaurant job I worked in for 7 years on and off (leaving when I went off to an internship). I try deeply to stay connected to my friends I have had throughout the years. My first two crushes that I clearly remember, I liked each of them for 3 years. Its me. I'm loyal. Strengths each have their weaknesses. In the last few months, I have been learning from Holy Spirit about my weakness in my loyalty. I hang on too long. Loyalty needs boundaries… and I have been learning about what that looks like.

So, a few Saturdays ago, I met one of my friends, Erica from J. Alexanders ( my now old work ) at Centennial Park… we walked, played volleyball, and just had a lovely morning. She asked me about how I loved our co-workers and walked about my faith at work. I shared what I learned and how I did it… how I failed a lot, what I learned through, and how I loved them. It was interesting and pretty amazing processing it out loud. I saw at the same moment: moments of success and moments of failure. So interesting. Driving home, Holy Spirit began to show me that as I was sharing with Erica it was as if we were in a relay, and it was her leg of the race and sharing my thoughts and such was passing along the baton to her. God then began to show me my loyalty and how I hang on to people… and while that is good. Sometimes you have to just let go. June of 2014 two of my most dearest friends just disappeared from my life. A guy who I used to work with cultivated a pretty great friendship just disappeared. The other was a girl from Kairos I was growing a quality friendship with just stopped everything and disappeared too. It felt like an assault against my heart.. because I hold the people in my life so closely to my heart. It was not one of the seasons shifting…which I have felt and walked through in the natural course of life and friendships. These both felt really dramatic to my heart and soul. God reminded me of them and began to show me that a lot of relationships and friendships we have in our lives come and go… Some you fight for and are lifetime friends… yet there are many who come into your life for a season, and you run a leg of the race together and sometimes you run it really well and then the season ends. …. This moment with God was a sweet reminder to my heart that loyalty is at the core of who I am, but to bring balance to knowing there are people who are for but a leg of the race, and that's good. As I was sharing with Erica, it was as if I was passing the baton to her saying I've ran my part and though it was messy and I was oh so human, I did my best and gave my 100%. Beautiful. Freeing. Liberating. It was a sweet ending to my season at J. Alexanders and a challenge to fully engage in my next season with my whole heart at my new job.

My New Job. For 10 months and one day after graduation, I dreamed what it would feel like deep within my soul as I spoke those words and they were truth. New Job. Because I just knew I didn't want to leave the serving industry for any other job except a social work position. I was offered multiple positions throughout the time of waiting, and I just knew. Something deep within me, knew even without seeing any other possibilities. I knew it wasn't where I was supposed to be. One lovely and beautiful Tuesday, I was on a run and got a phone call. After contemplating whether or not to answer the phone, as I did it was Kristin from Adams Place calling to offer me a social work position on their staff. I wasn't holding my breath for the position. It felt like it had been so long since I had the interview. Kristin's tone was even and I was prepared for the kind phone call to let me know the position had been filled. She then spoke those lovely words… we would like to offer you the position. The excitement in me exploded and it took everything within me to stay professional.  I immediately accepted…there was something within me that just knew this was where I was supposed to be.

There are moments in life and I wonder. This is where I wanted to be all along, and I didn't chart it out, figure it out… it just came from following my Jesus' lead in this crazy dance of life. I have a job that financially is empowering to my debt free journey, a social work job with Mon-Fri 8-5 boundaries (something quite rare in social work), in the medical field (which I always wanted to work in), an organization that does things with excellence (the modeled our standards through a leadership seminar they did at the Ritz Carlton), I get to hear love stories almost daily (I'm a romantic… but one of the assessments I have to do asks about marital history), and I'm working on a team (thank you soccer and volleyball for solidifying the love of team within me). Amazing. Amazing. Exceedingly, abundantly, above all you can ask or think….**