values tested in the fire and crushing unbelief ^^

I am learning lately that it is one thing to say "This is what I believe" "This is a value in my life" "This is important to me"and it is quite a different reality when you are placed in a situation to live it out.

I don't gossip. I fight to not gossip. I fight to stand in a world of gossip and to walk away. It is quite another when you are sitting with one of your highest leaders and they are asking you to gossip and you stand your ground, stating respectfully it is your value- professionally and personally.

I like me. I have fought for 30 something years to come to a place where I can genuinely, deeply say that. I have lots of growth ahead… and places that need to be sharpened, but I like me. In the face of not being chosen by a man I had growing affections for, I have had to stand strong in the belief that I am a woman worthy of being pursued, adored, and cherished… that I am not a second choice… that I am a leading lady.

I have a wonderful life with amazing friends, a wonderful church, a home that feels like home, a job that I enjoy doing right now… and in the face of the holidays with my two sisters and their fellows, I had to live out that I am enough, even when I am not in a relationship… and that doesn't make me second best in any way… even when well meaning family is throwing that on me.

Over and over… opportunities to live out and step into what I believe.

Today, in Crosspoint Kids, I got the game trophy at the 1:00PM service. They encouraged me on the way I was teaching the kids and keeping them engaged in the small group time. It was an encouragement that echoed exceedingly… and I expressed my thankfulness stating that it is not my natural element and it takes me outside of my comfort zone. Our Kids director encouraged me and challenged my unbelief in myself. Spiritually, it felt like his words and Jaclyn's words were crushing the belief in me that I am not a good teacher. Crushing words that were spoken over me by passed leadership…. it was as if their words were calling me into something higher… deeper…

So, to anyone who may be reading this, I leave you with this… know what you value, believe, your principles and stand strong when the fire tests… and allow the truth of God and what He says about you and who you are define you… not anyone else's assessment of you…. He may and probably will take you to a higher dimension than you ever imagined.