springggg break thoughts....

springgggg break! It has been quite lovely! Surprisingly there has been lots to do... I thought I would have more down time to conquer my spring break list...well, I guess we'll see *smile*

"so don't believe it's all in vain...cause i'm on my way...i'm on my way....the light at the end is worth the pain cause i'm on my way...i'm on my way" - "on my way"- by: boyce avenue

my heart is working through some questions lately... there have been so many doors that open and I question and then the door shuts. More like slams in my face... and I'm left staring yet again at a slammed door. I refuse to allow my heart to close up. I refuse to stop opening up my heart. Yet again, hope deferred has come upon my heart and I'm left to question, to strengthen my heart in the Lord and keep pressing onwards. It is hard. I attempt to fight and it seems like it's never enough. I am never enough. Must I press on? Must I keep believing when I see no reason to believe.

Nursing. Future Husband. The feelings are the same and the continual moments are so reflective. I give my heart wholly and completely to no avail. I refuse to give up and yet the circumstances seem to chant against me to give up, to want to have faith, but with the realities of what is screaming in my face.

Jesus, You are my everything. Finances. School. Friendships. Even when everything feels like it's being destroyed. Even when everything feels very Job like with no chance of a turn around, I trust. I believe. You are my anchor. Not what I see or what I feel. Though my feelings and my sight may feel real. You are my reality. You, Jesus, are my truth. And so, I rest in and trust you to guide me. Holy Spirit, I lean into your whispers and you lead my every step. Risk it or stay- I trust in you!