I choose to write. I love to write and so this I aim at...to write, if only a little- everyday. Maybe here on this blog or in a journal, or in a letter to a friend...or on a scrap piece of paper... or maybe even in the notes on my phone...but I will write. I will do and dream. Why? Because God dreamed dreams over me as He created and fashioned me and so I will write. I'm standing in the tension of seeing what I want to do, but being in a different season of life. However, I choose to be present daily. I choose to run on all cylinders. I choose to engage with each step that God leads. And I choose to do it afraid. I will not allow fear to hold me back from running intensely after the Kingdom. I'm all in.

"To love is to be vulnerable." - CS Lewis

CS Lewis penned this amazing truth. The point of impact that I struggle with is not that reality because I love people and I love to love. My tension is when love is not shown to me. I can feel my heart retreat into a sort of turtle shell. It creates this uncertainty within me and I can feel bitterness wanting to creep in and bring a "safety." The contradiction is that bitterness is not a safety. Bitterness is a poison and to allow even a drip within my heart can contaminate everything that I am intentional to grow within my heart. So, with His strength and wisdom, I choose to love. To love without question. I choose love when that love is not shown to me in the deepest moments and in the most random. So many people are hurt and they need love. They don't need my love, they need HIS. I will live a life of love by plunging deeper into the love of my God, the lover of my soul, my creator so that out of the overflow of His love splashing all around me that I can pour that out to people. In action, in prayer, in friendship, in a smile, in a hug... I choose to love free from bitterness despite reciprocation.

So, this blog is my tool to be an outlet of creative writing juices- to share my heart, to express, to love, to encourage.... so, I was thinking about incorporating a weekly blog about singleness. Singleness has definitely lasted longer in my life than I would have ever expected and yet, I would not change it. I have learned so much in my years of singleness- treasures and adventures that have been sweet nuggets of gold and I am considering placing all of those into a weekly nugget. I desire to one day be married and enter into that season, but I also want to be continually intentional to embrace this season. It is amazing- with great friends, an amazing young adult group, doors opening to be able to serve, an amazing family, school that challenges and teaches me, volleyball sporty-ness, and incredible roommates. Life right now is rich and sweet.... I would like to stand in the tension of those who see singleness as a disease or a "waiting room"... because when I look at my singleness past and present, I see it is as a beautiful season of life!!!