…'twas the day of the best…. and of the worst…

Today, I was the best and worst version of myself. Reflecting on today, I see moments where I was strong in His strength, where I loved without question, where I chose to deny myself… moments where I was the best Amy with confidence, beauty, and freedom. Today, I said no A.L.O.T.  A friend from school and I hung out. When I asked her what she wanted to do, she said shopping. As a girl on a budget with a mission, I knew this was going to be adventurous. I'm not a huge shopper… and I would not say I have a problem in the shopping arena of life, but when you go shopping with a friend peer pressure is definitely a factor, and it is hard to say no when you find something…. but as a Dave Ramsey girl, it is easier to say no when you know it is definitely outside of your budget. And in this season of only working for money two days a week, my budget is so condensed I do not have much room and especially this month and next because my friend Kelly and I are going to play sand volleyball. It is funny to add something else to my schedule. I thought the only thing I could add would be a significant other… because there's always room in my life for love *giggle*…. and yet, I think this is the best decision Kelly and I have made and oh how I am excited to add that…. but paying for the season took a bit out of my budget…. oh but how it will be worth it! Indeed! Anyways, I digress. All that to say, the afternoon conversationally was amazing… despite saying no over and over and over left me a bit tired… it really is like a muscle… so, tonight, I saw the not so pretty side of myself. I fell into temptation… oy. It is like the I do what it is I do not want to do and what it is I want to do, I don't. I have to forgive myself… shower grace, and shake it off and move on. I think the enemy is still mad about Saturday night, so, he saw an opportunity and took it. Well, I may have lost this one and as much as I chose the temptation and fell. However, I'm not going out…. I'm waking up and its game over. I refuse to react… I'm all in.