this is my fight song……...

i do not know if there is a word or even a grouping of words invented that could possibly capture how much this song means to me.

there is something that happens within me when i listen to it. i think this, for me, may be one of those songs that becomes an anthem within me to such a degree that i can listen to it over and over and over. one of the themes it touches is this craving that she feels something deeper, stronger, powerful, great in her and even if no one else sees it, she does and she's giving her 100% regardless.

"…a lot of fight left in me…"

i feel that. i have been underestimated so much by leaders. i get the "sweet card" but there is so much more to me and the woman God is refining me into and to be put in the sweet box is frustrating. church, professionally, in my various work places, this has been the story and i want to be me. i like me. i'm a broken human with brokenness being constantly revealed…and yet, i like me…. i like the "sweet" but i'm like sea salt carmel…. there may be the sweetness, but there is a salty side to me…. true. story. that salty can look like loyalty--- faithful steadfast stubbornness--- even warrior like… i see my spiritual side like Eowyn from LOTR and this song excites me.

simplicity. spiritual warfare. six pack abs.

these are my three 2015 goals…. and all three have been a process where I have seen change---significantly since this year began….. but that's my warrior princess side awakening…strengthening… for spiritual warfare. i was scrapbooking a few weeks ago (my nerdy processing fun creative side) and I was reading an old journal where my best friend, Cazi LaRee, was sharing about a conversation with her dad had and how he felt the enemy challenging him in a rough season of life--- " if you let up, i will let up." this i know…. this amy is not letting up. it does not matter what the picture looks like. i want great. and not great in the sense of millions of dollars, famous, or big house. i want to be great in my God's eyes. that is the ultimate. for real. simply. my challenge these days is to create space--capacity-- room for God to do that. the past three weeks have been rough… and in the middle of that rough, with much thankfulness to my Jess Jessica friend, I have been reading "So Long Insecurity" by Beth Moore. it hurts so good and this last weekend at camp, i was asking Jesus why i felt so low and broken…. like the carpet was swept out from under my feet. He so simply and sweetly spoke that in order to build up in my life, He has to break down … to remove…. to refine…... it hurts so good.