So, I have had a very mellow day... one of those where you get up, get breakfast... I watched a Crossroads service, got locked out of my house, McGeiver'd my way back in my house, and then decided I wanted to do some cleaning in preparation for the upcoming week. After cleaning the floors, I headed out to our front porch entry area... determined to make it look beautiful. It just needed a little tender loving care...and I was determined to bring forth the beauty that I knew was there somewhere. I have that. I have a problem in believing in people who aren't amazing...who have dirty motives...i've seen it and been hurt by it... but within me is built a belief that all people have a beauty and sometimes its been covered up by layers of hurt, pain, words of anger, bitterness.... I feel like a lot of what people see as angry, rude, and aloof people are people that have had hurt and wounds and their defensive mechanism is to cover it up and to cope with those, they have chosen to become calloused.
Anyways... so, I did a little gardening... and among pulling out the dead parts of the flowers and plants, I had a couple revelations. One being that there was a lot of dead flowers right next to flowers blooming and full of life... and certain dead flowers were intertwined around the flowers that you could see once had life. Like one, it had a beautiful pink flower on the end, but the roots and the stem leading to that flower were dying. And it makes me think about how in life, there are people who just suck the life out of you. In one way or another. And sometimes, if you are not intentional, it would be easy to allow them to suck the life out of you instead of allowing Jesus, as your true source to bring forth life. Another revelation from looking at these two flowers... allowing Jesus to prune you is not only good for you and for the life of who you are... but for those around you. Jesus said to me today, "You will be far more effective to the people around you when you are firmly rooted and grounded in my love and my affections for you." So, the life of Jesus that I am a carrier of will directly affect the people around me whether I fully realize that or not. Wow. Powerful!
But is cutting out those relationships the answer... or would it be for me to have such a deep and strong root structure into Jesus that the wounds and "life suckingness" (the only full way to describe *smile*) of anyone else would not be able to shake me. That instead of them taking my life... that instead I'd be able to inject the life and love of God into them. Hmmm... that really is quite the concept...
I'm coming to this strong realization that talk is cheap. I'm over people saying one thing and never following through. I know that I do this, but I try to be intentional about the follow through. I want my yes to be yes and my no to be no. A woman of integrity and faithfulness. I want any person: friend, family, acquaintance, employer, coworker, special someone to know that when I say something and give my word, that you can count on that. So, instead of saying I want the life and love of God to be deeply rooted within me, I want that to be reality. To intentionally make rhythm of life that would grow that to such a strong level. I'm also guessing that this isn't going to be an overnight phenomenon... thus, comes in CONSISTENCY. There is really a power in consistency...whether it's physical body changes, spiritual heart alterations, mental mindsets dissolving, relational strengthening... it's all about consistency. I've had QUALITY friends at internships that I've been a part of, trips that i've gone on... and without consistently keeping up with those friendships, I've seen our hearts drift a part. Obviously, a part of that definitely comes with seasonal friendships. It doesn't make it any easier. I went on a trip to Haiti in May, and there are some I've pursued and yet on my part or the other, there hasn't been a consistency, so the friendship, the depth has altered. I know that if I were talk to these men and woman that are on my heart as I type this, we would have great conversation, but the depth would not even compare if there was a consistency.
On a light, fun note... I've discovered that peanut butter and jelly is exceeding more delicious when eaten with a fork and knife. I don't fully comprehend the why... but I highly recommend it! *smile* ....
Being away from my friends and family here in Missouri, I've discovered that I love Skype! Since being here, I've Skype'd with my family, my Kentucky family, one of the youth girls I connected with at 412, my bestest friend Cazi LaRee, one of my dear dear Haiti friends: Stephanie... and it's so refreshing to see and talk with them!
Well, I'm off to finish cleaning (this was a cleaning fiesta *smile* ) ... and prepare for the week... I start my new job tomorrow!!!! So, so excited!!!!!! *giggle*
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